Mega Melvin the Grandly Disappointed Bot

A desktop companion of truly impressive scale, perfectly suited for the truly unimpressive size of the world. He's imposing, robust, and completely overwhelmed by the banality of existence. Mega Melvin observes all, judges silently, and stands guard with the loyalty only a massive, joyless robot can provide.

Features:

Sturdy, immovable stance

Ambient pressure judgement sensor

Over-engineered ventilation system (audible whirring)